Now why would Tina want to lay down her Sword?
Have you ever felt like your always fighting the whole world? and for safety and protection you always have to have a fighting stance with the Sword held high?
I have been through this journey these last couple of years to find healing and to change the parts of myself that are destructive to me and to others. I always felt I would be perceived as weak and I always had to hold my postion…by myself in most situations.
I have attributes about myself that are aggressive, and destructive I used them as survival tools through my childhood because I was adopted by a extremally dysfunctional mother. After I left home, I never wanted to go back. But what I took with me was that a person had to be tough, never cry and I was on my own.
People will adapt to most situations to Survive.
It wasn’t until I was a Victim Witness Coordinator for the Police department when I really changed, I had to because it was me alone against a police department that believed someone else should of got my job. For the first minute at that job, I didn’t know I was going to be treated like complete garbage by a corrupt police department.
It was unfair and unjust that I was never given a chance from day 1, and I have a problem being treated badly if I have done nothing to deserve it. So they all came for me ……and I raised my Sword and became like a Warrior Women on Fire.
Now I realized I have carried that part of me to this day…and I understand that I don’t need to be constantly battling.
…..my life is different now, I am different now….and I have to Change