Sabastian Loves Star Wars
Sabastian being a bit spicy
Hope explains why she added the Men’s Perspective and the Importance of it in her Book – Piece By Piece
What is HOPE?
When you believe your FUTURE is bigger than your PRESENT!
The road to optimal health and wellness starts one step at a time. With desire and intention, opportunities will start crossing our path, supporting us as we evolve to advocate for our life. Making a difference starts within, and when we find the compassion and love for ourselves, we are able to ignite those around us in the same way.. (Hope Flansburg)
Why Do People Write?
Doing Business in Pineridge Reservation
Coming to Terms with My Religion VIIII
“Call to Life” This is what some ladies said to me about them giving birth to their children at 12… 13…-14…years old. I was like WTF??!!
There was a group of ladies I know that lived in Rawlins, WY and they were coming against everyone that was Pro-Choice.
If a girl is called by the Lord to have a baby at any age…they are blessed and it is pleasing to the Lord.
If that wasn’t twisted enough they attacked me and stated I must of had abortions because I did not agree AT ALL about this “call to life” bullshit.
I call it Statutory Rape, and that is exactly what it is…being done to girls in the name of the Lord.
This behavior done by Men to little girls, and endorsed by the Women is WRONG!
Do not be like my mother who would put girls in harms way because according to my mother …Her boys would NEVER do anything harmful, because they are good Christian Men. BARF!
I remember when my Aunt Shirley wrote to all the members of the family to let them know that her Step Father had raped her for years, and it started around 9 years old. My mothers response was that my Aunt had it coming because She must of been using her sexuality and you cant trust girl’s…ever.
So she basically said she deserved being raped at 9 years old.
How do you think my mother treated Us?? Her adopted Korean Girls??
You would think Rawlins is still stuck in the Dark ages…but the sad truth is that this and many more other deviant behavior is happening to the girls in Rawlins Wyoming in the Year 2022.
Live Healing Tarot Reads
Healing Tarot Sessions with Tina and Shelly with Layers of Numerology and Chakra’s
I have been drawn to the Mystical world my whole life. I was drawn to Tarot and found I have a Gift for it, and want to use it to Help others.
https://www.etsy.com/shop/HealingTarotStore?ref=profile_header
Skylar is struggling to hold on…. Healing Tarot with Tina and Shelly
Finding healing from trauma, and reaching out to Her Sister Circle. I wish Happiness for you Skylar and Peace.
Special Guest Laura Williams – Healing Tarot
Sabastian in attack mode
Hope’s Story – Strong Women and the Ties that Bind
Meet My Friend…..Hope Flansburg
Author/Wellness Educator About hope Hope is a beautiful Storyteller and Healer. I had the privilege of meeting her on one of her Women Retreats “Hope for Healing” in Chadron NE. It was life changing for me and now I have another Sister inside my Circle. Thank you Hope for everything…you truly have a gift.
Strong Women and the Ties that Bind – Tina’s Story and Concept of Strong Women Circles
I truly believe to change the world, you first start with yourself, and that means taking care of yourself emotionally, physically and that you can find long days and nights of happiness. To break generational patterns of abuse it needs to start that way, and we create this beautiful change, for ourselves, family, friends and our Community.
I have a question: Where do STRONG women go when they are hurt and need someone to hold some space for them, so they can heal and talk about the pain in her life, in her days, months and years of crisis and trauma?….I would like to create a space that we as friends, family pull from the best of ourselves and that comes from the power of being a woman. Only women truly understand the fragile balance she constantly must maintain…Because these women are Strong, Intelligent, Resilient, and a little pissed off about some issues.
Little Man the smartest, weirdest Cat I ever met
Question: Dealing with Family Conflict
Meet the cutest animal family
Art is Life and Soul and Music
“In Everything I Find Roses in Concrete”
Tina’s Project 2020
“I Have a Dream” is a public speech that was delivered by American civil rights activist Martin Luther King Jr. during the March on Washington for Jobs and Freedom on August 28, 1963, in which he called for civil and economic rights and an end to racism in the United States
I also have a dream about this project. I wanted to hear the voices of my Sisters. Their Voices speaking truth to power, her stories and dreams, and nightmares that she needs/must express.
Because I do know in expressing herself is healing especially in an environment where she feels unconditional acceptance and with other women that understand and have experienced the same things too…it is so Powerful and Healing. I want all my Sister to find healing, and I know through Art and Voice and by unleashing the most sacred part of being a woman, we can create a pathway for ourselves to find peace and to be happy.
I truly believe to change the world, you first start with yourself, and that means taking care of yourself emotionally, physically and that you can find long days and nights of happiness. To break generational patterns of abuse it needs to start that way, and we create this beautiful change, for ourselves, family, friends and our Community.
I have a question: Where do STRONG women go when they are hurt and need someone to hold some space for them, so they can heal and talk about the pain in her life, in her days, months and years of crisis and trauma?….I would like to create a space that we as friends, family pull from the best of ourselves and that comes from the power of being a woman. Only women truly understand the fragile balance she constantly must maintain…Because these women are Strong, Intelligent, Resilient, and a little pissed off about some issues.
Lets create a Sisterhood that is safe…at all times…..every time. I know ya all can feel me when a sister is crying by herself in her bedroom, because life is overwhelming her and she is responsible for so many people in her family, and it is a burden that she carries on her own, and a rough path that she will have to navigate, but it is her choice to carry it, she would do anything for her children and family. But sometimes a Sister just needs a break, time to heal, lick our wounds so we can stand to fight another day….and that’s it.
It is also my dream to monetize this project and funds go straight into charities in all our own Communities to start a cycle of change. True change…..generational change.
My Life Lesson
Finding Passion and Purpose In This Life
Concrete-Love-Roses
Today is the Day that Tina Lays Down her Sword
Now why would Tina want to lay down her Sword?
Have you ever felt like your always fighting the whole world? and for safety and protection you always have to have a fighting stance with the Sword held high?
I have been through this journey these last couple of years to find healing and to change the parts of myself that are destructive to me and to others. I always felt I would be perceived as weak and I always had to hold my postion…by myself in most situations.
I have attributes about myself that are aggressive, and destructive I used them as survival tools through my childhood because I was adopted by a extremally dysfunctional mother. After I left home, I never wanted to go back. But what I took with me was that a person had to be tough, never cry and I was on my own.
People will adapt to most situations to Survive.
It wasn’t until I was a Victim Witness Coordinator for the Police department when I really changed, I had to because it was me alone against a police department that believed someone else should of got my job. For the first minute at that job, I didn’t know I was going to be treated like complete garbage by a corrupt police department.
It was unfair and unjust that I was never given a chance from day 1, and I have a problem being treated badly if I have done nothing to deserve it. So they all came for me ……and I raised my Sword and became like a Warrior Women on Fire.
Now I realized I have carried that part of me to this day…and I understand that I don’t need to be constantly battling.
…..my life is different now, I am different now….and I have to Change
Strong Women and the Ties that Bind- Tina’s Story
Njoy speaking about her culture and being Lakota
My Incredible Love Story
My Art
Visiting the Grave Site at Wounded Knee S.D.
Dealing with Addiction and Death-Healing Tarot With Tina
Women and Wolves
She was Amazing and Who is She? That would be Me…. My Lovely
Womanity ~*I am Her, and She is Me… a Wild thing. She is teaching me, every day, what it means to be free, to be wild. What it looks like, sounds like, tastes like. She is showing me the difference between Wildness and recklessness, Wisdom and inconsideration. Wild things cannot be tethered, cannot be harnessed and domesticated, but they can be discerning, sharp as a razor, and kind in a way that is healing
I have always been told I am, Was, Is….. flawed, broken, damaged, and told those traits are ugly and for the damned and the weak.
I had a major struggle in the last couple of years, I had to close a chapter of my life which involved friendships, time and memories.
I was sad because it was so hard and sad and final. There were no winners or losers, and all souls wept .
After I came to terms to a chapter I have to close , I realized there was some steps that I would have to do.
Step One:
Second Step:
Amen and Amen
I love Mother Teresa’s quotes, now that is a real woman there.
For some reason, Memories started coming back to me when I went to a Blue October Concert in San Francisco They are my favorite band, I respect the lead singer Justin because he sings about dark real life issues, and it made me feel less alone on my path.
There is a signature song of theirs that I hold on to with my heart. It is, “She’s my ride home”. I have always looked for that other person, partner. Then it hit me like a ton of bricks and I came to terms that the “She is also Me”.
Since I have been alone most of my adult life and it has been by choice, I believed I missed a part of life that many people get to experience. I am happy for them, they are blessed.
I was married once twenty years ago, wow! so I now get why people have always asked me why I never got remarried. I was thinking, its been like five minutes, when in reality it has been twenty years. Is that good or bad?
I think I am going to give in to my destiny and walk my path with Me, which would be She…..My Lovely.
Womanity ~*
Womanity ~*
There is no fight left in her, and that’s the best thing that ever happened for her. For far too long the futile battle of light and dark has left her exhausted.
She’s accepting both light and dark as the inherent gifts of the universe. She’s not in a dueling match with them. The light no longer wishes to ‘reform’ her dark, and her dark no longer wants to ‘control’ the light.
Suddenly, she’s not playing the polarity game. She’s not fooled into buying the teaching that there’s something wrong with her that needs fixing, and she’s got work to do before she’s finally ‘good’.
Her divinity is in fully embracing her humanity. All of it. So where’s the imperfection? The myth that one day light will vanquish the dark and there will be peace would have kept her exhausted and imprisoned.
She’s already at peace right now! Even the light and dark within her are sitting at peace with each other. Game over.
What she’s experiencing in the ceasing of war is an unbelievable tranquility & peace. Thank goddess she believed in her own wisdom.
:: Sukhvinder Sirca
Sharp Double Edge Sword
“We need people in our lives with whom we can be as open
as possible. To have real conversations with people may seem like such a simple, obvious suggestion, but it involves courage and risk”
I have meet a new friend, we can call him Lyndsay, Earl, Justa, Matt, or just plain Boo. Oh Hell, lets just call him my Friend. I was reading his blog and this caught my attention.
I write for myself today. I put my thoughts into writing and read my writing out loud to make sure my mind, body, and soul realizes how important my balance is. I write this, muscles sore from an early morning push of strength and stamina.
My balance is not a delicate one, it has lots of room for give and pull. Nonetheless, the balance of my life includes several important aspects (Awesome friend Mikey)
I feel happiness for my friend because his balance is not a delicate one.
I feel sadness for me that I do not have that luxury.
I am writing for me because I need too
I am writing for me because I am worth that much
I am writing for me because I feel so empty at this moment, and need to feel relevant
why?
She fought hard, she was a huge pain in the ass, she was a great friend, she was hysterically funny, kind hearted and tried the best with her children.
Even if she failed, remember she tried, that should count for something.
I step carefully, purposefully, slowly, because even a millimeter off then I will lose my balance.
I will be cut in half with my Sharp Double Edge Sword.
Please be gentler than usual with this tiny Warrior, she is very busted up and bruise.
Hopefully, there is still a smoldering piece of coal.
She needs to rejuvenate. The mending process took much much longer than she could of imagined and she now realizes it is a constant.
She sitting here in silence mode letting the pain flow through her……..she stays still in her silence.
She has learned that is the only way to keep breathing is to not fight, because nothing in this life is free. She understands to embrace, learn, forgive and release.
She also did not realize the pain is so intense, and will bring her to her knees, face down, begging for help, for relief, for solace, for sleep.
Please send a thought to her, because she is in need.
“It is only through mystery and madness that the
soul is revealed”
Cute Very Cute Animals
I was raised in a Cult, I think, I am not sure…
Charles Bukowski, Factotum
“ “Wow, it’s Friday night, what are you going to do? Just sit there?” Well,
yeah. Because there’s nothing out there. It’s stupidity. Stupid people
mingling with stupid people. Let them stupidify themselves. I’ve never
been bothered with the need to rush out into the night. I hid in bars,
because I didn’t want to hide in factories. That’s all. Sorry for all the
millions, but I’ve never been lonely. I like myself. I’m the best form of
entertainment I have. Let’s drink more wine!”
Yesterday I had a Epiphany that answered a few questions for
me, because I have started on a dark journey of who I am and the purpose for my reality. I explored many avenues of religion and spirituality, because the religion that I grew up in was bat-shit crazy as can be.
The only answer that I ever received; Damnation! Hell! Fire! Shame! and the Mark of the Beast looming over me!
Here is wisdom. Let him that hath understanding count the number of the beast: for it is the number of a man; and his number is Six hundred threescore and six.” —Revelation 13:18
I can not even begin to describe what the religion made me fear, especially that Christians were gonna go through the Tribulation, and we need to be prepared.
In our Cult…oh so sorry, I mean religion we identified as:
- Born again Christian
- Washed in the blood of the lamb
- Slain in the Spirit
- Raising the Dead
- Commanding the weather to change under her authority.
- Commanding in the name of the Lord to straighten my crooked teeth.
Speaking in tongues and other weird things did she.
She started to believe she was the chosen Prophet
for her realm in Wyoming.
My mother was the crusader of this odd reality, she was storing food and wine, for the end of times since the very early eighty’s .
I was just a little girl exposed to this travesty,
I am not being dramatic, just read this and see, and give me your opinion because it matters much to me.
She became a zealot for her cause and until now, I did not know how much it devastated my being, and who I would end up to be.
Religion is beginning to be recognised as a possible source of psychological stress on children. This is particularly so for children raised in exclusive religious cults and sects
http://openparachute.wordpress.com/2008/04/27/psychological-and-religious-abuse-of-children/
Because it was my normal and I believed that everyone was raised with shame and feeling guilty.
I constantly lived in fear of death, because that was all that was taught to me.
The part that makes me angry and bitter, and I feel immeasurable loss in my heart and soul, is when I gave birth to my adorable babies.
I feel like I was not able to enjoy the feeling of motherhood, because I was taught at any moment my children could be taken from me without any warning.
Having children is like your heart is outside of your body.
(President Obama)
I constantly feared for my babies lives because of my mothers delusional teachings to me.
It is hard to bond to my most important pieces of my heart, because I knew I would not survive them being torn apart.
So I had to figure out a way to live with this, so my children could at least have a start.
I have to get this off my chest about an experience that is still clear as day to me.
I was only a child and I remember going to church to watch a movie about the Christian trying to survive the tribulation that was forthcoming for all of us to see.
They showed graphic scenes of people getting their heads chopped off because they refused to take the Mark of the Beast.
So for me life is ending at any given moment, so what’s the purpose anyways?”
Child abuse survivors suffer from long-term post-traumatic stress disorder. Symptoms such as flashbacks, nightmares, intrusive negative thoughts, low self-esteem, compulsive behaviour, anger, disturbed sleep, hyper-vigilance, shame, guilt, etc. are common.http://openparachute.wordpress.com/2008/04/27/psychological-and-religious-abuse-of-children/
I cant even begin to describe to you how deep the scars and nightmares that has been seared inside of me and its still my darkest monster watching ever close to me.
I know it affected every single aspect of my life and the choices that I have made.
Especially one friendship that use to be so dear, is forever over, between me and her.
I speak of souls weeping in my other blog post called “She was amazing” because my former friend was the only person who went through this travesty with me.
I feel so much guilt because it was my mother leading the crusade to cast the demons out of she,
Because as a tiny little girl was not treated humanly.
Which was absolutely not her fault, and had no control of the monsters that she was born too,
Even when she got rescued from her evil father,
she still never got the proper therapy that she needs.
They were working in the name of the Lord so there is no way they could be off key.
Glossolalia or speaking in tongues is the fluid vocalizing (or less commonly, the writing of), speech-like syllables, in some cases, as part of religious practice.[1] The significance of glossolalia has varied in context, with some minorities considering it a part of a sacred language. It is most prominently practiced within Pentecostal and Charismatic Christianity, but it is practiced in non-Christian religions as well. Many believe[who?] that the vocalizations are a reaction to externally induced hysteria.
Please, please, help me understand….. tell me how casting demons out of someone, especially a child while holding them down and wailing in tongues is something I am sure no one could even perceive.
My mother and her followers performed it not once, not twice, but thrice to She. Why? as I shake my head and wonder how my mother got this level of crazy.
” although religious child abuse is not restricted to cults like the Exclusive Brethren a religious upbringing can be healthy – provided it occurs in an open and flexible atmosphere. If this is absent the child can suffer from the stultification of a personal moral and intellectual sense.
I stared exploring different avenues of religions and spirituality, since I was already the black sheep of my family.
I was never gonna be like my mother I vowed on the daily.
For even thinking the answers were in my mother and the Holy Bible, that only she interpreted for me and her followees.
She kept me hostage with fear of burning forever in Hell.
She used this fear of pain and death as a instrument for evil deeds did she.
Everlasting punishment
The most terrifying aspect of the torment in hell is that it never ends. It goes on forever and ever. The words used by Christ and the apostles to describe the duration of the suffering in hell clearly, unambiguously and unequivocally teach that the punishment in hell is eternal, unending and everlasting.
http://www.reformedonline.com/view/reformedonline/hell.htm
So I am in a search for a different philosophy, something that does not scare me and help me find Faith, Purpose and Love.
Found one.
and now I am going to start the process to set myself free.
Thank you to everyone for listening to me, that act alone has given me some positive energy.
Prologue:
When does it get better? When does it feel like I might have a life again? My dear Candy, two weeks ago she decided to give up the good fight. She left on her own terms…her heart broken from too much loss.
I know the pain overtook her…she herself stated she was tired of being brave. Her attempt at learning to live again failed. I ask myself if she was truly the winner…the pain that ravished her heart and soul had stopped.
Where ever she is at….I wish her well….hopefully some peace that she deserved but never found. I am sorry Candy I couldn’t help you…couldn’t talk to you. Couldn’t be there for you.
But at this time in my life I can’t even help myself…just existing…barely breathing…and getting up each day to to do the same thing…over and over. This is not a life. This is not enough. This has to change…I too am tired of being brave…tired of just existing.
I don’t really matter to anyone…not even to myself. What do I do? Something has to give. I have to find an answer before I tear to pieces from the pain..from the loneliness…from the complete emptiness inside of me.
Peace to you my friend….see you the next rotation of the Sun….Tina
Njoy’s Land on the Pineridge Reservation
Good Golly, Miss Molly
Things that made me go hhhmmmm……
Imagine if you will, in your mind, a fictional rural state, with a very low population. In this scenario there is a Judge, a Woman…. (yup, she sure is.)
This woman is a very well-known legend, especially in her own mind.
Before we go any further let me give her a name. Wanda, yes! that is the perfect name.
Furthermore in this story is also a Man…(yup he sure is) and for the sake of time, letsname him Fred. Sound good?
Judge Wanda was known for her stern manner, rough sentences and her very exciting personal life. Have you guys ever heard of Badge Bunnies? I found these terms from the Urban Dictionary:
Badge bunny Proper noun: A female that goes out only with cops and firemen.
Also known as:
Holster snifferPolice groupie. Prefers to date only cops. One who surrounds themselves by cops.
That Lisa, she is a real holster sniffer!
Further refereed as:Whore A woman that sleeps with everyone but YOU!!!!!
SEE: SLUT – A woman that sleeps with everyone.
That whore wouldn’t sleep with me.(http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=badge+bunny ).
Well, I think everyone understands now. Ms. Wanda held her head high up in court every day, self-confident, condescending, and a total hypocrite. Okay, before there is a lecture onnot judging folk’s maybe we should peek back into her time on the high court of the law.
This story is fascinating because there has not been found, too many woman Judges that are hardcore Badge Bunnies. Ms. Wanda was loyal through and through, always there for the Boys in Blue (hee, hee).
Wanda, only “worked out” at the local gym where the long arm of the law congregated. It did offer sports medicine so that could be why… Buuutt …wait, Ms. Wanda has been a member for years and years, her main Modus Operandi was walking up to cops working out, with sweat dripping off… and then she would start stroking their arms and egos.
It really was a fascinating thing to witness, almost have to see it for yourself- kind of moment- to believe it.
It was shocking to most normal folks, how out in the open she was about it. Most of these guys are married and she does not give a Damn. One time Ms. Wanda messed with the wrong cop because his wife did not appreciate the special attention given to him in her “court”.
His wife said that her husband changed after he made detectives, he started dressing like Don Johnson in Miami Vice. Stayed true to the soft pastels and cool dark sunglasses.
Unfortunately, he started acting like a bratty celebrity. Such as an over inflated sense of self, and maybe some mama issues…who knows.
Furthermore, His wife did not appreciate the blatant takeover of her husband. There were some issues between man and wife, maybe even some loud domestic issues, but the couple ended up staying together….and Judge Wanda immediately upped her work outs to seven days a week.
Last known escapades of Judge Wanda, was with another “Detective” named Fred. Wanda would stand in the main office of the police station, with her new man, speaking to him in a tone that made many want to throw up. Fred is gently trying to help her get some copies from the machine and of course the machine is messing up. Fred is getting frustrated that his manhood was being challenged by a copy machine.
Thank God, Wanda was there, close, very close by his side, murmuring sweet nothings to calm him down, and build him back up to the true man he is (barf…barf). Additionally, JudgeWanda and Fred were spotted lunching at a local restaurant in public, believing that they are doing the little people a favor by gracing them with their presence. Narcissistic much?
I guess some things never change.
Well the whole point I was trying to make in this fictional story is how Citizens need to pay attention to their Government, especially local city/county government.
Lastly, Miss Wanda still serves on the Bench, happy as a little clam is She
All characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental
Pineridge Reservation S.D.
The Memory Dress
I have a dress, which is a deep maroon color and beautiful……….The story of this dress is sad, but there is so much to learn from it for me, that I felt the need to write
“When you sense that your dark night is one of pregnancy and oceanic return, you could react accordingly and be still. Watch and wonder. Take the human embryo as your model. Assume the fetal position, emotionally and intellectually. Be silent. Float in your darkness as if it were the waters of the womb, and give up trying to fight your way out or make sense of it.” Thomas Moore
When I first arrived here in California I started reading to seek answers to the path that would lead me to peace. I read two books by Thomas Moore “Dark Nights of the Soul” and “Care of the Soul” and I found some profounds dark answers to my question.
“It’s important to be heroic, ambitious, productive, efficient, creative, and progressive, but these qualities don’t necessarily nurture soul. The soul has different concerns, of equal value: downtime for reflection, conversation, and reverie; beauty that is captivating and pleasuring; relatedness to the environs and to people; and any animal’s rhythm of rest and activity.”
The story starts with a day that forever will be seared on my soul and heart and be a part of me for the rest of my days.
I have worked as a victim’s advocate for six years. Two were at a local Safe house and four years at the local Police Department.
That day I was getting ready to close the office. A woman came into the door and needed to ask me some questions about a protection order and how she could get one. I explained to her how to obtain one, and how protection orders can be used as one of many tools to help keep her safe. They have been together for eleven years, and she wanted to get out of the relationship, but she knew that he would not understand. I asked her, do you feel like your in immediate danger? She stated no, I don’t think he would go too far. I went over all safety and security procedures with her and gave her a 911 phone to keep with her at all times.
I was allowed to see her in the hospital because I was her advocate. This is one of the first scars that started the breakdown. I walked in and I could not even recognize her as a person, she was in such horrible shape. She looked up and said, I know her, and she wanted to say something to me. I walked up to her bed and held what I could of her hand, she did not want to let go. She said, ‘I’m a survivor Tina, I’m a survivor’…..
What do you do with all the emotion and pain that she is feeling? How can you share her pain, and help? I felt so little and insignificant compared to what just happened to her, and I did not want to hurt her in any way.
So as my good friend Dory stated,
Rule of Thumb for Advocacy. Always take a servants position, if you understand that, then you are a good pick for advocacy. Humility is key for a productive advocate, and keep ears open and mouth shut.
I specialized in domestic violence and sexual assault I was the sexual assault coordinator for the years I worked at the Safe house. Truth be told Domestic Violence numbers will not go down until we educate our society, communities, and political officials about the dynamics of domestic violence.
Times have change and I was so happy to see grants from VAWA that would encourage men to join us women in this arena. The antiquated views and techniques need to be updated, be more open minded and less judgmental Since I worked for the Safe house and the Police Department, I was able to see both sides and they desperately needed to find a way to work together.
The question that I got asked the most in the classes I taught to advocates, law enforcement and the local community is, “why does he or she stay”? and if they go back its thier fault, we tried. I would answer that question with, why doesnt he or she stop batterer? Blame the abuser not the victim.
Since society sets the norms and values in which we live, then we all need to look in the mirror. Domestic violence is everyone’s issue, because if affects the community at large. I have seen people state “those people” like they can not relate, sorry to break your bubble, but domestic violence happens to our sisters, brothers, mothers, fathers, and grandparents. We are looking at ourselves.
In future classes I taught for new volunteers. I always emphasized the importance of being kind, quiet, and real. Holding hands, words of comfort and an open ear. That makes all difference and is real because nobody listens, really, really listens anymore.
I believe that its important to bear witness for victims. It’s about respect and the importance of all people. Everyone has worth, a good advocate can feel it, see it and with no words, help them.
So everything I see my memory dress, I pause and show respect and to bear witness for her because every human being matters Peace to you J.
How shall I live?
I want to feel both the beauty and the pain of the age we are living in. I want to survive my life without becoming numb.
I want to speak and comprehend words of wounding without having these words become the landscape where I dwell …
~ Terry Tempest Williams, When Women Were Birds
What Would Jesus Do?
Do you all remember when this saying was everywhere, on wrist bands, shirts and signs.
I have struggled with my Faith and lost much respect for certain religions, the ones I know about are extremely judgemental, want power and control, and teaches death and damnation in eternal fires of Hell.
At one of the worst times in my life, my eyes were open and my heart softened by what I viewed.
There under the bridge in the worst part of the city, Ministries would come to feed, clothe and sing songs that would uplift the soul and give hope to many that has lost all faith. The people society has thrown away, and shuns itself from.
They would pray with people in such a sincere and kind manner, I admired their humanity and they remembered and still embraced the basic reason for religion.
Which I truly believe is about caring for our fellow man, and the blessing of serving others that creates people that are humble, strong, and so real.
So I guess if this is what Jesus would do, and I believe he did, then I too want to buy a band that states “What Would Jesus Do” and wear it with the memories that I received on this day.
Shhhh…. She is Travelling between Worlds right Now….
You can see her holding the tension of not knowing ~ she is simply breathing into her unanswered questions. Sometimes she drinks her coffee with quaking hands, not knowing where her relationship or her bank account is going.
But this time, she is holding on to the tension of not knowing, and is not willing to hit the panic button. She is unlearning thousands of years of conditioning. She is not being split between the opposing forces of fight and flight.
She is neither naïve nor ignorant. She is a frontier woman, paving new roads & making new choices.
She is willing to making a new transcendent possibility emerge. You may see her now ~ standing at thresholds, or at crossroads ~ breathing into her body ~ intently listening for inner signals. She’s learning new navigation skills as she arrives at a most magical moment of her life.
~ Sukhvinder Sircar
“In Everything I find Roses in Concrete”
Tina’s Project 2020
“I Have a Dream” is a public speech that was delivered by American civil rights activist Martin Luther King Jr. during the March on Washington for Jobs and Freedom on August 28, 1963, in which he called for civil and economic rights and an end to racism in the United States
I also have a dream about this project. I wanted to hear the voices of my Sisters. Their Voices speaking truth to power, her stories and dreams, and nightmares that she needs/must express.
Because I do know in expressing herself is healing especially in an environment where she feels unconditional acceptance and with other women that understand and have experienced the same things too…it is so Powerful and Healing. I want all my Sisters to find healing, and I know through Art and Voice and by unleashing the most sacred part of being a woman, we can create a pathway for ourselves to find peace and to be happy.
I truly believe to change the world, you first start with yourself, and that means taking care of yourself emotionally, physically and that you can find long days and nights of happiness. To break generational patterns of abuse it needs to start that way, and we create this beautiful change, for ourselves, family, friends and our Community.
I have a question: Where do STRONG women go when they are hurt and need someone to hold some space for them, so they can heal and talk about the pain in her life, in her days, months and years of crisis and trauma?….I would like to create a space that we as friends, family pull from the best of ourselves and that comes from the power of being a woman. Only women truly understand the fragile balance she constantly must maintain…Because these women are Strong, Intelligent, Resilient, and a little pissed off about some issues.
Lets create a Sisterhood that is safe…at all times…..every time. I know ya all can feel me when a sister is crying by herself in her bedroom, because life is overwhelming her and she is responsible for so many people in her family, and it is a burden that she carries on her own, and a rough path that she will have to navigate, but it is her choice to carry it, she would do anything for her children and family. But sometimes a Sister just needs a break, time to heal, lick our wounds so we can stand to fight another day….and that’s it.
True change…..generational change.
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This Life
It’s so weird how this thing called life works. Such as, hoping and waiting for the long night of the soul to be over. It’s been so long and hard to navigate in the shadows all the time. Then simply one day it’s different, something lifted….shifted. I told my friend, “is this personal growth? I am better?!”…….yes it is and yes I am. Humbled by grace, and grateful for everything.
Is this Transcending, or the Beginning of Schizophrenia?
I actually ask myself that question a lot…a lot my friends. Once, I even got brave enough to ask my Male Christian Counselor that I really did trust and respect, that very same question. I think at first he thought I was kidding, then he look in my eyes and went.. Ohh. Out came the questionnaire.
People with schizophrenia have at least some of its main symptoms. For a psychiatrist to make a confident schizophrenia diagnosis, some of these symptoms must be present:
-Hallucinations. This means hearing voices or other sounds that aren’t there or seeing things that don’t exist.
-Delusions (unshakeable beliefs that aren’t true).
-Disorganized speech and behavior (talking and acting strangely).
-Lack of motivation and emotional expression.
-Lack of energy.
-Poor grooming habits.
-Specific types of psychotic symptoms (called first-rank symptoms), when present, make a schizophrenia diagnosis more likely:
-Hearing your own thoughts spoken aloud.
-Feeling that thoughts are being inserted into your mind, or removed from it, by an outside force.
-Feeling like other people can read your mind.
-Feeling that an outside force is making you feel something, want something, or act in a certain way.
-Hearing voices discuss you or argue about you.
-Hearing voices narrate your actions as you perform them.
A person with schizophrenia may describe these symptoms openly. Or a psychiatrist may deduce they are likely present based on observations of a person’s speech and behavior
http://www.webmd.com/schizophrenia/guide/schizophrenia-tests)
So together the Counselor and I figured out that I was not schizophrenic……right?? so why was I feeling a bit crazy, and why did it feel so freeing? and so damn scary all at the same time?
This girl let go of years of guilt and shame….just let it go…just like that, and breathed. Wow it was so freeing so beautiful, like a million pounds lifted off her body. A feeling like none other, none other
Thoughts
I was at a place reading the different items that hung on the wall. There was one about a man who was suffering from exhaustion and depression. He had an emotional breakdown, his illness took him to the streets, he was homeless, family and friends turned their back on him and blamed him for his breakdown and shunned him because now he was an embarrassment to his family.
That man did find his way back on his own. He gave back to the people that needed it the most. No judgements, no shame. I remember reading;
“We are all use to a constant continuity in our lives, and then suddenly, we are forced to embrace chaos….while still trying to retain a bit of dignity.”
Made me cry…….
